• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

Marriage to a second wife and the first doesn't know

I don’t see it any different than a husband withholding private information from relationship to relationship- is that a sin? Or is complete openness required of the man between all wives and every intimate detail? Is it her right to know about his marriages?

Verifyveritas76 said:
It might depend on what he’s telling the first wife. And what he ends up having to say to cover his deception.
Click to expand...
Is it deception, or none of her business what he does with his additional time/relationships?

What if he holds on to both relationships without putting the first one away and without the first knowing?

*not saying it’s wise ;) just curious
 
rockfox said:
Rom 1:29
Rev 21:8
Click to expand...
John 7:6-10 KJV
[6] Then Jesus said unto them, My time is not yet come: but your time is alway ready. [7] The world cannot hate you; but me it hateth, because I testify of it, that the works thereof are evil. [8] Go ye up unto this feast: I go not up yet unto this feast; for my time is not yet full come. [9] When he had said these words unto them, he abode still in Galilee. [10] But when his brethren were gone up, then went he also up unto the feast, not openly, but as it were in secret.


Withholding information is not lying. I’m not talking about lying. @Patricia C didn’t say the guy was lying about it, just that the first wife didn’t know. Obviously I’m not advocating for it, just clarifying that having a wife that you’re first wife doesn’t know about isn’t a sin, in and of itself.

And no, @WifeOfHisYouth i don’t have a secret wife ;)
 
Living a lie but not actually telling a lie seems like splitting hairs to me.
 
While it likely isn't a sin unless he is lying.. which I can't fathom how he wouldn't have to do some lying somewhere.. if I found out, my trust in him would be badly undermined. Worse than if he were to just take a mistress on the side. Likely an emotional response but a valid one. Would I leave? No. Would I bring her into the family? Yes. (It would be very hard to trust her as well .) the relationship would be damaged and take time to repair.. but then I believe in PM. If the wife did not believe in PM the repercussions in this day and age would catastrophic to the family in whole and would likely blow up in his face.
 
Asforme&myhouse said:
John 7:6-10 KJV
[6] Then Jesus said unto them, My time is not yet come: but your time is alway ready. [7] The world cannot hate you; but me it hateth, because I testify of it, that the works thereof are evil. [8] Go ye up unto this feast: I go not up yet unto this feast; for my time is not yet full come. [9] When he had said these words unto them, he abode still in Galilee. [10] But when his brethren were gone up, then went he also up unto the feast, not openly, but as it were in secret.


Withholding information is not lying. I’m not talking about lying. @Patricia C didn’t say the guy was lying about it, just that the first wife didn’t know. Obviously I’m not advocating for it, just clarifying that having a wife that you’re first wife doesn’t know about isn’t a sin, in and of itself.

And no, @WifeOfHisYouth i don’t have a secret wife ;)
Click to expand...
You think this vs. Is saying it is ok to withhold information "lie" to your spouse about having a secret marriage?

If a man marries a woman and they can not tell anyone the nature of the relationship it is misleading and yes a lie. Our God is a God of Truth and righteousness. Nothing about what you are suggesting is truthful or just. I don't believe you can spin that in any direction to make it right. IMO
 
Asforme&myhouse said:
It’s quite possible that David and Solomon, among others, had times in their lives where they had wives that their other wives didn’t know about, not because they were lying, but because they were away and took another wife while they were elsewhere.
Click to expand...
That is a speculation and not fact.
 
1 Cor 13:1-7 kjv
Love

1Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 3And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
 
Asforme&myhouse said:
It’s quite possible that David and Solomon, among others, had times in their lives where they had wives that their other wives didn’t know about, not because they were lying, but because they were away and took another wife while they were elsewhere.
Click to expand...

Solomon is an example so silly as to be meaningless.

Solomon was the King, in a society that embraced polygamy, and had "seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines,". I doubt even HE knew all their names much less each wife knowing when every single other wive/concubine was added.

No practical bearing on the question of whether a man ought to tell his first what is going on.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top