I like the nice jerk matrix. Individual definitions aside, I think we're all on the same page about what's hot and what's not.
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Nice guy versus Jerk?
- Thread starter rockfox
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That totally can be a use of the word, but there are other definitions to the word. It's tricky now a day because words are slippy and mean different things to different people but I think we're all in agreement to where we think the word should be heading towards.
authoritative
adjective
having due authority; having the sanction or weight of authority:an authoritative opinion.
authorities in a field:an authoritative edition of Shakespeare; an authoritative treatment of a subject.
having an air of authority; accustomed to exercising authority; positive; peremptory; dictatorial:said with an authoritative air.
Assertive is one that comes to my mind.
Col 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
The harshness only happens when a wife refuses to submit. The man must sometimes draw a hard line or put his foot down. To interpret that verse as to "keep her happy" or not make decisions she doesn't like would be a big mistake.
I wouldn't refer to that as harshness though. The husband must demand submission, but there are techniques to deal with the refusal to submit, that are effective without being harsh.
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Col. 3:19 KJV. Now there’s an eye opener concerning different versions of the Bible...what version is that @Daniel DeLuca ?
I’m NOT wanting to hash out different versions or derail the thread!! I will say I think a husband may need to be ‘harsh’ as parents may need to be harsh in disciplines and training. I’m hoping I’m not opening a can of worms here
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I like the term king as opposed to being a dictator! A wimp who does not lead is bad.. a dictator is selfesh that is also bad
A king leads with authority yet for the good of all. A king rules, but tempered with love and kindness. When he must be hard it can be diffucult for the subjects to still see his heart. That requires faith! We must maintain the positipn of being a king enev when we look like a dictator.
A king leads with authority yet for the good of all. A king rules, but tempered with love and kindness. When he must be hard it can be diffucult for the subjects to still see his heart. That requires faith! We must maintain the positipn of being a king enev when we look like a dictator.
That is kind of like "dominant", which has it's etymology in the term "Dominion".
This is a blanket statement that is not always true. The only way a king could "lead for the good of all" would be IF he had fear of YHWH and ONLY ministered YHWH's law.
Sadly power corrupts and most men who desire such power had heart issues to begin with.
Yeshua/Jesus is the only man ever who passed the unselfish totally submitted test and is fit to be king.
King George was a good example of a selfish greedy man. No king but king Jesus was the colonists battle cry. Yeshua may ask hard things, but we can rest in the sure knowlege they are for our good and His glory. Can't say that of anyone in poly ticks.
I am speaking from the idea of the difference between a king and a dictator in practice not just in title. true some who are called king are really dictators and not benevolent kings at all,
The only problem I have is how we are defining the two terms. By "nice guy", are you referring to a sweet, passive doormat? Yep that's a turnoff. But you can be kind with strong boundaries...there's the "sweet spot". I think that is what most men struggle with...where to draw the line. Can you give "the look", meaning end of discussion, without being cruel or hurtful? It's a fine art...
Exactly...
There is a Rom Com movie from 1990 about how women like bad men instead of the nice guys. Funny movie. A romance novelist fixes up her brother so that women will like him.
Don't Tell Her It's Me (1990)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don't_Tell_Her_It's_Me
Don't Tell Her It's Me (1990)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don't_Tell_Her_It's_Me
Heh, tell that to the money changers he whipped, or the pagan woman he called a *female dog* who just wanted healing, or the people he called son's of the devil, or his lead disciple whom he called Satan.
But what makes him a bad boy anyway? You just spent your whole post telling me how unattractive men are who do bad things are. Nice bad boy isn't much different than me saying Jerk with a heart of gold. You just get triggered by 'jerk'. But you still want bad. Whatever that is.
Yep. What is commonly called a nice guy is that doormat. He won't set strong boundaries. He generally finds the idea of boundaries, and especially enforcing them against his wife's will, highly objectionable. That describing most Christians.
'the look' only works when a woman know's the man can back it up with 'not nice' actions. Cruel no. But sometimes doing what is necessary (enforcing boundaries) will be hurtful (bad feelings). A nice guy will refuse to do what causes her hurt even if it is necessary.
You're not arguing about real differences, just perceptions. Feelings. The level of power that a king and a dictator have are little different. The differences are mostly in how they get to power and how it is passed on.
Dominant. Dominating. Domineering. Oops, that's ones a bridge to far for most women, even though it's the same word as the first too.
But ya that's a good description; though many don't find dominance nice. Unless it's the dominance they want.
That's good too.
I think that both of that and dominance are characteristics of the ideal male archetype. But neither quite fits as a one word description.
And sometimes the nice ways don't work.
Harshness = causes feelbads = not nice
Sorry Jolene's right, sometimes harshness is required. I think 'embittered' is the better translation anyway. That speaks to a whole different kind of scenario.
How can one ever trust their parent or their husband or God?
If it is the power that corrupts then God must be the most corrupt of all.
NO ! It is the Lie and the Sin that corrupts
Ah, @rockfox, you’re right- I think what I get triggered by is the idea of calling my husband, Jesus or another in authority ‘Jerk’.... it especially flips my lid when wives have no problem with being disrespectful....Jesus has authority to do as he sees fit and acted according to how he needed to in those situations, as each husband will and does with his own wife/wives. Obviously our definitions are different and your meme meant what your definition implied. In good humor, your meme still hits my funny bone.