Gulliver
Member
cwcsmc said:I know I probably should keep quite seeing as I am pretty new here and it is not always good to jump into a heated debate so soon in a relationship, but hey, you don't know who your friends are really unless you get to see them in the heat of battle. ( I hope the smile face makes it all better. )
I am a little surprised that a group that is following the path of polygamy, doesn't really get whats going on the divorce/child support world that is being run by people who don't really understand what a true family is. The two have something in common when it comes to the outside world looking in.
I mean, how many like being labelled because of a few bad apples in the poly world. Has anyone considered that maybe, just maybe the information one is given is not necessarily true. Once you believed that monogamy was the only truth, but when your eyes were open everything changed. Maybe the world of divorce is the same thing. Maybe something is wrong at the core.
Blaming men, or women, is not the real story. The current marriage system is operating in a fallen world. It can't work as long as it is not Christ centered. It can only have victims, every person in it is a victim in that system. The men, the women, the children. But there is a common element in that system and it is the same element that wants to disrupt the true family God has designed. Adam and Eve faced that element and it still is operating today. Destroy the family and you weaken the power of God on earth.
The title of this thread may have been better stated as; The War on Families, because that is what it is. Men lose, women lose, and the children lose, but there is a winner, the legal system. The same system trying to do away with polygamy. Follow the money.
For people to blindly quote unreferenced statistics about divorce is I think a bit misleading. I think some where on this thread someone quoted 50% of divorces are by women (or men). But the real figure is 75% of women file divorce, especially if they have children. ( http://www.divorce-lawyer-source.com/fa ... women.html ) You know why, divorce is a big business. And men suffer from it financially, not to mention losing a family, at the hands of women because lawyers make money. Then the man is forced to pay wife support because the child support he is suppose to pay for the child usually does not go to the children, but to a new car, or house, or clothes for the ex-wife. There is no accountability in the child support system. Maybe if one considered that fact, it might be a little clearer why some men run. Also, you may find that the real culprit is NO-FAULT divorce. Also, there are really different levels of divorce, those of lower income, middle income, and those of higher income. Most of the lower income divorce are were the non payment of child support comes from and that's the reason child support was created in the first place, to help the welfare system. Most men are labeled 'deadbeat' because of this level of divorce. However, when you transfer the same logic to middle income divorces the formulas for child support don't work at all. Higher income divorce is just ridicules. When the courts view a marriage as a real contract then maybe they will award proper damages when a contract is broken like they do in civil court.
The other assumption that is always made is that women are always good mothers and best to raise the children. I find that interesting because, technically the Bible claims that it is the mans responsibility to raise the children. True the mother has to take care of them before they are weaned but after that, it is the fathers job. I agree men today don't do what they should but that is more to do with society (feminist) changing the rules, no different than what is being done to true marriage.
I am a good father. When God revealed himself to me years ago I had a choice to make on which path I would take. I chose to follow Him. However, my children's mother chose not to. But, because of the legal system, that is in favor of the mother getting the children, my decision to follow my Savior (and her adultery), I lost my children. Now, before that happened, I spent over 10 years in a custody battle because I believed that their mother was unfit and it was my responsibility to raise them. And I held to my responsibility to raise my children. I did get to raise two of them in my home, but I am now watching my two youngest being raised in a worldly home. She has had 7 boyfriends in this time, moved to five houses, the children have changed 3 school districts. She has overdosed on prescription drugs, and gotten at least one DUI. And that is just for starters. I pay her to raise my children to know the worlds ways. They are becoming friends of the world. I spent all the money I had in the beginning to fight for them but when that quickly ran out, I taught myself how to be a lawyer and continued on PRO SE. I even litigated a portion of my case in the appeals court of Florida, and held my ground for five hours at the final hearing with a 40 year seasoned lawyer, with multiple witnesses. But I lost both the appeals and the final hearing. You know why, not because of legal merit, but because I represented myself. My legal argument was sound and concise, but the judge could not let me win because I was going against the system representing myself. Family Law there are no rules.
So anyone who makes any statements about men not being able to take care of their responsibility to children, I say, you don't know what you are talking about. Just as if someone told you, you are harming your children being in a plural marriage because of Warren Jeffs. Maybe we should stop letting the worlds sensationalism get the best of us.
Maybe we should all start looking to the facts about the things we believe to be true.
Here is a good starter for this topic.
http://divorcecorp.com/the-film/
You are very right! We have to look at the things from a holistic point of view. I'm very sorry to hear your trouble. Father organisations come to my mind. Have you tried any? Eg:
http://www.fathers-4-justice.us/
http://www.realfathersforjustice.org/
https://m.facebook.com/Fathers4kids?id= ... thers4kids
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fathers%27_rights_movement
http://singleparents.about.com/od/legal ... ations.htm
Let me know if I could help in any other way.