Will God speak differently to a husband and wife?

[Cap]

Edit: Clarification - this is on the lines of different viewpoints that may come from certain situations that may lead a husband and wife to differ on what they may be hearing from God.

Would God speak a word to a wife first? Or husband first? Or both at the same time? Not sure what I'm thinking in reference to, maybe children, or a ministry, or maybe moving, maybe vacation time, ordinary life things.

And what would be the best way to handle the difference, or how to deal with the conflict it may cause? Who would be right? How would that be determined?

 

[FollowingHim2]

Yes, either or, or both at the same time. I'm not quite sure why you think He wouldn't? We are all in the body, we all have different gifts, and YHWH often speaks to us using these gifts as individuals. One time with us Samuel and I were praying, I received a vision about that prayer and told him, Samuel then received the knowledge about that situation when it occurred later and the wisdom needed to deal with it. YHWH spoke to us both very differently about the same situation. We're a team, and with Him giving us little bits we can bring it all together and function as a whole. Does that make sense?

If you're in disagreement, then you do what the head of the house says to do, and you have to trust that he is following YHWH and will make the correct decision.

 

[Cap]

Wasn't really thinking about speaking to each at different times, more on the lines of speaking different words all together. I understand that God can speak to individuals separately or together, and actually use that method for conformation, or maybe as a second witness.

I am interested more in finding out what others think about Words that are spoken, or discernment, that may disagree.

 

[steve]

I believe that YHWH respects the order that He has put in place.
If He has to direct the husband via a Word through a wife, there are some underlying problems that need the be sorted out.

 

[rejoicinghandmaid]

I know I'm new here, but just had to weigh in on this. The fact is that "Yes, absolutely!" Sarayu (The Holy Spirit) DOES speak to the wife sometimes before speaking to the husband. I don't think it necessarily is a commentary on there being a deficiency in the walk of either as to whom receives communication before the other. The LORD God works in strange and mysterious ways, and His ways are past finding out. His ways are not our ways nor His thoughts our thoughts. It is so human of us to try to humanize the LORD God. We can't fit Him into our peabrain box of rationale or thinking so might as well stop. Doing so often positions us in a seat of judgment, which then leads to finger pointing, and then to playing god (notice I didn't capitalize--on purpose). Look at the downward spiral which plays out. You might be lifted up but Yeshua is NOT. The spirit with which you present what you've been given has everything to do with how it is received. I do agree that in some instances, Steve, "where there are uderlying problems" one or the other is receiving direction and usually the one with the clogged line isn't hearing anything.

It is not uncommon that both are being spoken to simultaneously but neither are the wiser because they haven't communicated what they've received as yet. Often it's because each is not sure how the other is going to receive the "news". The sweetness comes, once communication is opened on the subject, to find out that indeed both have been hearing the same thing! There's a confirmation and welding that occurs in the relationship at those moments like no other.

However, I can personally speak to the fact that in my situation, I learned early on my best approach was to "ponder those things in my heart" as did Mary, the mother of Jesus, and patiently wait for my Yeshua to reveal the same truth to my late husband. Down through the years there were many instances when I knew exactly what was going to happen up ahead because the Lord had shown me. When it finally came to fruition, my joy was in knowing that I had been entrusted with the scoop--so that I might begin covering it with prayer and was allowed to intercede on my husband's behalf. That was often kept between just me and my Yeshua. Men, more so than women, like to think it was their idea. So be it. No need to rain on his parade; join him in rejoicing that God's will has been determined.

I have a high respect for men who are secure in their position as leader but are open to listening to the workings of the Holy Spirit in their beloved's life. Just because she may have been given something he hasn't shouldn't make him feel insecure, nor overlooked, nor diminished in any way--no more than the reverse should cause the wife to feel insecure, overlooked, or diminished. Rejoice that Jesus said, "Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you." John 16:7 Rejoice that you DO hear the still, small voice saying, "...This is the way, walk ye in it ..." Isaiah 30:21

 

[Nikud]

If He has to direct the husband via a Word through a wife, there are some underlying problems that need the be sorted out.

When my wife and I were being led to accept that Polygyny was not sinful but biblical He went to my wife first. If he would of gone to me first I would of assumed it was my flesh and dismissed it never studying it out.

 

[steve]

When Jessica and I were being led to accept that Polygyny was not sinful but biblical He went to Jessica first. If he would of gone to me first I would of assumed it was my flesh and dismissed it never studying it out.

My statement wouldn’t be towards that type of a Word.

 

[steve]

........ more on the lines of speaking different words all together. ...........Words that are spoken, or discernment, that may disagree.

Dueling discernment?
Does her Word From The Lord trump his understanding/discernment/Word?

Yup, not an uncommon problem.
Numbers 12:2 (KJV) And they said, Hath the LORD indeed spoken only by Moses? hath he not spoken also by us? And the LORD heard [it].

 

[steve]

@rejoicinghandmaid, thank you for your response, but please note my exact wording.
“If He has to direct the husband.....”
This is not about whether He would speak to either of them first, it is about whether He needs to operate the husband by remote control through his wife. If the husband is not hearing from YHWH and has to be corrected by Words of prophecy through the womenfolk, something is wrong.
If a husband is needing to be interceded for by his wife on more than the rare occasion then I would say that his spiritual leadership is lacking.
Paul didn’t advise the women married to unbelievers to pray them into the Kingdom, he told them to win them by their actions, their lives. Their focus was to be upon their own walk.

 

[rockfox]

Can they differ on what they're hearing from God? Well given that most of the time people confound their emotional feelings for the leading of the Holy Spirit; yes, all the time.

But God has nothing to do with that.

Whether it is from God or not, she should follow her husband; as God has instructed her to do in scripture.

Remember, even with prophecy, it was of no private interpretation; but subject to the judgement of the church and the utterances of the spirit subject to the will of the prophet; that he may keep silent.

 

[Asforme&myhouse]

Can they differ on what they're hearing from God? Well given that most of the time people confound their emotional feelings for the leading of the Holy Spirit; yes, all the time.

But God has nothing to do with that.

Whether it is from God or not, she should follow her husband; as God has instructed her to do in scripture.

Remember, even with prophecy, it was of no private interpretation; but subject to the judgement of the church and the utterances of the spirit subject to the will of the prophet; that he may keep silent.

Couldn’t agree more. I don’t think we can tune in to the Holy Spirit like a radio frequency. God speaks through His Word clearly and when He speaks through a prophet there is no mistaking His voice. It’s not some “oh well i think maybe God is saying this, and i feel like...”. No! God doesn’t stutter. He is not incapable of communicating with us clearly. The prophets of the Old Testament didn’t have a batting average, they had 100% accuracy and if not, they were supposed to be killed. They heard God’s voice clearly and precisely. They didn’t have to “tune it in”. Be very careful with sitting and trying to hear God’s “still small voice”. We are not told to do that in scripture, by the way. That is how God spoke to Elijah on one occasion, but it isn’t a prescription for us. God is very capable of directing our path. We are called to abide in Him.
1 John 3:18-24 KJV
“[18] My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. [19] And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him. [20] For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. [21] Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God. [22] And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight. [23] And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment. [24] And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us.”

If we abide in His love he will guide us and direct us and most of the time we have no idea that He is doing it, except in hindsight.

You want to hear God’s voice? Read His Word. If you want to hear the voice of God audibly? Read it out loud.

 

[steve]

Ali and I were discussing some of the questions in this thread and she was bringing up some excellent points.
Knowing that I could not be trusted to remember them all, I asked her to quickly put them in a short post.
Here it is:

“I think there are three things that need to be considered in this discussion over "dueling words from YHWH and how to avoid the shootout at the OK Corral." They are idols, insecurity and impugning the nature of YHWH. My experience, as someone who tries to live their life in an open-heaven state while submitting to my husband, is that the particular flavor of insecurity that is based in unresolved gender offense will be quick to raise its head in the form of an idol, especially when there are variant perceptions as to what YHWH is saying in a given situation.

Hearing through one's idols is not only a possibility, it is a promise from God when anything grows so big before one's visage that one can no longer fix their eyes on Yeshua. Ezk 14:4
By that I mean, if a guy has a wounded spirit that manifests itself in some kind of combination of "I'm-the-leader-God-said-so-because-women-are-defective-dangerous-and-therefore-must-put-up-shut-up-and-follow," that is going to make it easier for wives to slip into "Men-are-less-sensitive-and-sometimes-idiots-therefore-I-shall-be-the-prevailing-intercessor-and-pray-him-into-seeing-what-I-am-hearing-from-God-so-hubby-will-then-do-it." If you don't muck the stall of your spirit as a life-style, then it won't be long before you are routinely facing off in front of the saloon at High Noon. It ain't purty, and I speak from experience.

The issue really isn't who heard first or who is even accurate. It is, who's responsible if it's acted upon, and ultimately, where is the Lord God of Elijah? If a wife gets a word that is right and the husband doesn't act on it, that's on him. If a husband gets a word that is not accurate and acts on it, that's on him. If they both get words that seem to conflict and don't bother to check and see if they are hearing through idols, the walk-out of that is still on him, because he has to give a final, familial account to God for actions taken.

So, what's the fail-safe position for both parties? Wrestling with YHWH until they walk with a halt, and truly living as though they believe that YHWH’s got this, as opposed to creating an Ishmael because they had to help YHWH do His own will.”

Btw;
None of Ali’s response was directed towards anyone, it was totally in response to aspects that I brought up and I take 100% responsibility for any and all misunderstanding.

 

[rockfox]

I don’t think we can tune in to the Holy Spirit like a radio frequency. God speaks through His Word clearly and when He speaks through a prophet there is no mistaking His voice. It’s not some “oh well i think maybe God is saying this, and i feel like...”. No!

I am less confident about how the leading of the Holy Spirit works. But even if God does lead us in a hard to see manner, I've seen no end to people claiming God wants them to do something which we know from scripture He'd never tell them to. In far too many churches and families that idol Ali speaks of has a name: woman; who makes her will known through the Holy Feelings.

Wives, submit what you think God is telling you to your husband and follow his judgment. Husbands, know your scripture and the character of God therein; He won't contradict that. For hard cases seek out wise council from wise spiritual men. And in all things pray.

 

[Curtis Gerhart]

Can they differ on what they're hearing from God? Well given that most of the time people confound their emotional feelings for the leading of the Holy Spirit; yes, all the time.

But God has nothing to do with that.

Whether it is from God or not, she should follow her husband; as God has instructed her to do in scripture.

Remember, even with prophecy, it was of no private interpretation; but subject to the judgement of the church and the utterances of the spirit subject to the will of the prophet; that he may keep silent.

AAMEN! We must, whenever we feel led by the Holy Spirit, go straight to God’s Urim Thumin; which today is His Word.

Couldn’t agree more. I don’t think we can tune in to the Holy Spirit like a radio frequency. God speaks through His Word clearly and when He speaks through a prophet there is no mistaking His voice. It’s not some “oh well i think maybe God is saying this, and i feel like...”. No! God doesn’t stutter. He is not incapable of communicating with us clearly. The prophets of the Old Testament didn’t have a batting average, they had 100% accuracy and if not, they were supposed to be killed. They heard God’s voice clearly and precisely. They didn’t have to “tune it in”. Be very careful with sitting and trying to hear God’s “still small voice”. We are not told to do that in scripture, by the way. That is how God spoke to Elijah on one occasion, but it isn’t a prescription for us. God is very capable of directing our path. We are called to abide in Him.
1 John 3:18-24 KJV
“[18] My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. [19] And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him. [20] For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. [21] Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God. [22] And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight. [23] And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment. [24] And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us.”

If we abide in His love he will guide us and direct us and most of the time we have no idea that He is doing it, except in hindsight.

You want to hear God’s voice? Read His Word. If you want to hear the voice of God audibly? Read it out loud.

Great post, especially the last two paragraphs. SPOT ON BRO!!

I am less confident about how the leading of the Holy Spirit works. But even if God does lead us in a hard to see manner, I've seen no end to people claiming God wants them to do something which we know from scripture He'd never tell them to. In far too many churches and families that idol Ali speaks of has a name: woman; who makes her will known through the Holy Feelings.

Wives, submit what you think God is telling you to your husband and follow his judgment. Husbands, know your scripture and the character of God therein; He won't contradict that. For hard cases seek out wise council from wise spiritual men. And in all things pray.

Another, SPOT ON BRO!
Luke 16:13 KJV
[13] “No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.”
The same is for the wife. She either serves her husband or Christ. Which is it? If it is Christ, then Paul n Peter were wrong. Disclaimer here, he better be sure or clear by the Word or her blood will be on his hands. Again, if Love is the foundation and center, the “head’s” faculties will be continually “tuned in” to God’s Voice, the Word. Great discussion all!

 

[The Revolting Man]

The same is for the wife. She either serves her husband or Christ. Which is it? If it is Christ, then Paul n Peter were wrong. Disclaimer here, he better be sure or clear by the Word or her blood will be on his hands. Again, if Love is the foundation and center, the “head’s” faculties will be continually “tuned in” to God’s Voice, the Word. Great discussion all!

Wow Curtis! I've never looked at that verse that way before. I thought I was hardcore on submission but I think you just said it better than I've ever heard it stated. Thank you!

 

[Cap]

Another, SPOT ON BRO!
Luke 16:13 KJV
[13] “No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.”
The same is for the wife. She either serves her husband or Christ. Which is it? If it is Christ, then Paul n Peter were wrong....

I don't believe this is quite right. I would think a more accurate view would be that a wife is suppose to follow Christ THROUGH her husband. If the alignment is correct then there is only one master and this verse doesn't really apply to this situation.

 

[Curtis Gerhart]

I don't believe this is quite right. I would think a more accurate view would be that a wife is suppose to follow Christ THROUGH her husband. If the alignment is correct then there is only one master and this verse doesn't really apply to this situation.

I would think? Where is the Scripture for that? What did Paul say several times? What did Peter say? What does the word husband mean? I was not presenting a view. This scripture applies to all servant master relationships, unless there is an exception in the Word.

 

[Cap]

I would think? Where is the Scripture for that? What did Paul say several times? What did Peter say? What does the word husband mean? I was not presenting a view. This scripture applies to all servant master relationships, unless there is an exception in the Word.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

John 13:12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. 16 Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 If you know these things, oblessed are you if you do them

Revelations 22:8 I, John, am the one who heard and saw these things. And when I had heard and seen them, I fell down to worship at the feet of the angel who had been showing them to me. 9But he said to me, “Don’t do that! I am a fellow servant with you and with your fellow prophets and with all who keep the words of this scroll. Worship God

A husband is a door, probably better, a window to Christ for a wife.

Note: This is my interpretation and understanding of the Word of God, not to be confused with your interpretation and understanding of the Word of God.

 

[Curtis Gerhart]

I guess your right.

 

[Nikud]

IMO, If a wife is in submission to her husband and he is in submission to G-d then there will be no difference in what is being said. If she has allowed herself to be deceived by feminism, or he by false masculinity, there will be conflicting words from G-d. Both are creations of a culture that is nothing more than a tool of the advasary. If anyone hears a word from G-d that conflicts with scripture or his nature and seems to be inline with the world, then it's not a Word from G-d. If I had a "word from G-d" that was going to cause me to lead my family one way but I'd be living in my flesh and my wife got a a Word from G-d that would help me to lead in another way and prevent me from living in my flesh, I would expect my wife as my ezer kenegdo, my helpmeet, my mirrored strength ( The strength G-d gives us reflected back to me) to tell me.

I agree with @rockfox

Wives, submit what you think God is telling you to your husband and follow his judgment. Husbands, know your scripture and the character of God therein; He won't contradict that. For hard cases seek out wise council from wise spiritual men. And in all things pray.