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Hello from a newbie in Maryland

Chesapeake

Chesapeake

Member
Female
oh where to start.. I don't really 'fit in' here but my interest in Christian Polygamy has been growing slowly for several years. Guess I'll tell you a little about me..I have been in an open polyamorous relationship for the past 2 years but feel lonely and discouraged. My boyfriend has other girlfriends but despite his encouragement I am uninterested in dating more than one person at a time. I wish I saw our relationship moving towards marriage and building a family but my boyfriend does not share the same goal. He would prefer to build a 'family' of lovers than an actual family. I don't feel a sense of belonging in with the polyamorous community,as most I have met are pagan or atheist( I am a Christian- both unusual and unpopular within that group) But for some reason I find it is much easier to find and connect with the polyamorous community online than any polygamous one. I'm not sure why this is.. is the polyamorous community larger, are they just more open about their lifestyle or have I just been looking in the wrong places?
 
Welcome Chesapeake. There is probably a good reason you feel the way you do just as there is a reason you were led to BFs. There are many great ladies on this site who you can connect with and provide the support you need. I know they will be happy to reach out to you. I feel confident you will find the support and advice you need here. Prayers and blessings to you.
 
There are several of us who on our journey originally thought that while the values do not exactly align that the polyamourous community would be allied and before too long realized that that was not the case. I know I thought that everyone would like permanent life long relationships and that if you started out polyamory and you were really good at it the end result might look more like polygamy. I found that was not the case. The group that I was involved with seemed to think of polygamy in terms of FLDS cult, etc. My group was not really anti-Christian, but they certainly were not pro-Christian either, and after a while I just decided it really was not worth my time to stay in touch with the local polyamory group.

You probably find it easier to connect with the polyamourous community because they are at least superficially less judgemental. Unless you are a patriarchal pro-polygamy Christian then you might feel some heat. :) They hate patriarchy has much as the mainstream culture does.

Further, there really are not that many Christian polygamy communities. There are other communities of e-mail lists, or Facebook groups, but to my knowledge this is the only Christian polygamy community that actually meets and gets together for face to face fellowship. In fact this is a primary reason for the existiance of this ministry: to provide Christian fellowship to those that otherwise it might not be availabe to, since most Christian churches will dis-fellowship you for polygamy, or even simply holding it as a doctrinal position. So like you say, another reason why you have found it easier to connect is that there are simply a lot more polyamourous communities than there are polygamous communities outside of the Mormons.

It does sound like your interest lies more along the lines of Christian polygamy than polyamory.

Are you near the Chesapeake? My grandparents had a house on the bay when I was growing up and spent several wonderful summers crabbing and sailing. Good times.

Welcome to Biblical Families.
 
I'm sure they are more open about their lifestyle. In general, they aren't trying to "build" anything. People here, at least, are trying to build families that they are anxious to protect. People are pretty warm and eventually open up here.... sometime after they know that what God gave them to protect isn't being threatened.

Still, this is where the wisdom happens. I couldn't really be anywhere else.
 
Thank you for the welcome cnystrom, it is very appreciated.
It is interesting to hear from someone else who has had a similar experienced the polyamorous community. I will say that all the people I was in contact with were very kind, intelligent people. It really does just seem to be a difference in long term goals.
I would be interested in attending an in person face to face meeting with other members of the community.
And yes, I am right on the Chesapeake in southern Maryland. Not too far from point lookout to give a landmark you may be familiar with.
 
Thank you, Slumberfreeze. I respect anyone's choice to protect their family's privacy. There is a big difference when deciding to be 'public' if there are children involved. I have found even in polyamory that families with young children tend to be much less likely to be 'out'. That is something I didn't take into consideration before when trying to figure out why there is such a small online presence of Christian polygamists.
 
Hi and welcome to Biblical Families! It does seem like this is the best place for you, and I do think you will fit in well around here.
We have a ladies chat on Mondays 7.30pm Eastern time. We'd love to have you join us if you wish.

There are quite a few retreats and meets ups that happen within the Biblical Families people. Keep an eye out for something that's happening in your area. Otherwise there's the ladies retreat next year, and the big summer retreat (that's the one you want to make if you can!), which will be around July or so.

There are many Christian polygamists around, or even just those who believe in the theory of it but will never practice it. You just never know who they are because they have to remain so quiet about it, as people have mentioned above.

You're not alone in what you're feeling, and you're welcome here.
 
Welcome, thank you for the background info. May you find what you are looking for.
 
I hope you've finally found your community. I know how hard it can be, to feel like there is no one to talk to. When you find those who really get you on all levels it makes a huge difference. Good luck and welcome.
 
Chesapeake said:
I don't really 'fit in' here
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You do fit in here.

God has been calling you towards Himself (hence your Christian faith), and towards polygamy (hence the interest in polyamory). You, like all of us, have then attempted to make sense of these two things that you know deep down to be completely true, but at the same time seem in the eyes of the world around us to be contradictory - the church teaches polygamy is a sin, and polyamorists reject Christianity in order to be polyamorous. In your case, in attempting to live out both truths, you have tried to be a Christian polyamorist. And have found first-hand the issues with that.

In trying to figure this out, no doubt you will have done things that you look back on and see as sinful, maybe you're still doing things now that are sinful - but that's the same for EVERYBODY. We ALL sin and fall short of God. Everyone sins in different areas, but all sin is sin. And all sin is forgivable, when we turn from it. Don't think you don't fit in because of how you may have acted in the past - trust me, some of the people here have very interesting pasts! In fact, the more someone has sinned in the past, the more they are forgiven, and the more they will love God as a result. Everybody has a past - and God uses those pasts to teach us and lead us closer to Him.

Here is where it finally all fits together - Christianity and polygamy. With Christianity being by far the most important, polygamy just being one little detail of it.

So focus on God first, and everything else will fall into place over time as you draw closer to Him.
 
Chesapeake said:
Thank you for the welcome cnystrom, it is very appreciated.
It is interesting to hear from someone else who has had a similar experienced the polyamorous community. I will say that all the people I was in contact with were very kind, intelligent people. It really does just seem to be a difference in long term goals.
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I was never in a polyamourous relationship, but I spent enough time with the group to understand how they think. I agree that for the most part they were and and are kind and intelligent, although they occasionally had the user/taker who viewed polyamory as a swinging opportunity which really irritated those that wanted actual relationships. A few bad apples in every group I guess. Just because you are in the group, does not mean you actually share the values of the group.

Your boyfriend is not a Christian and has no interest in Jesus?

Chesapeake said:
I would be interested in attending an in person face to face meeting with other members of the community.
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Highly recommended. Some have called BF retreats life changing.

Chesapeake said:
And yes, I am right on the Chesapeake in southern Maryland. Not too far from point lookout to give a landmark you may be familiar with.
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My Grandparents house was on the Eastern shore near Royal Oak, between Easton and St. Michaels. It was a sad day when we sold that house, but it provided a comfortable living for my Nana in her later years. She lived to be 103.

My Uncle lives in Lexington Park. At one time he was CO of NAS Patuxent River.
 
Welcome.
 
Welcome
 
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