Although I'd be interested to hear from
@andrew if he thinks additional wives provide more or less time for ministry given the extra help they represent.
Brilliant catch,
@rockfox, and I'd like to deal with that one once and for all. I can't believe I'm just now seeing this.
If we're doing it right, our families (household economies) should run like well-oiled machines. To say that a plural husband would be 'too busy to be an elder' reflects a
lot of assumptions about family life that are grounded in the mess our culture raises us on that sees wives and children as a financial and emotional drain. And what about other kinds of responsibility? Would we say that a senior corporate executive, or a monogamous guy who runs his own business with 10 employees, is 'too busy' to be an elder (when they could easily be working 80 hour weeks)? Then how does the size of one's family necessarily make one 'too busy'?
All of my relationships grew out of co-laboring in ministry (Cheryl - worship, Ginny - youth/family, Ann - street outreach), and 'doing ministry together' is a huge part of who we are as a family (as anyone who has been to a big retreat where the whole family is the electric worship band knows). I call bs on the 'plural men are too busy to eld' argument.
That leaves cultural context as the 'last argument standing' for one-and-only-one wife—an argument I am personally open to but don't necessarily accept. Yet. I still think either
first or
a makes more sense from a 'whole counsel of scripture' view. (Really? David could be
king but not
pastor ? Seriously?) And I know some people don't want to open the can of worms that says anything in scripture is contextually-limited, even when Paul says things like "this is just my opinion, not the Lord talkin".
But really, if we're going to go with
one (and each of the alternatives has its grammatical pros and cons, so I'm pretty sure this is not ever going to be 'settled'), I think a plausible and perhaps the only explanation for that is the cultural context, which would still be good advice today. Don't poke the bear.
I've been saying for almost 20 years, "If you really believe it's
one, just don't make me an elder in your church. I'm okay with that—I have
plenty to do." And I love
@Slumberfreeze's
tour de force of examples of people just busy serving God without aspiring to office. Makes a world of sense to me.
Last thought: We have basically adopted an inverse reasoning in our life and ministry. We used to have a much more outlandish lifestyle (come to a retreat if you want to hear stories...), but were led to 'normalize' our lifestyle on the ground that we didn't want to have other reasons for people to dismiss our witness re biblical marriage. I can easily see that same logic applying to the body of Christ in a firmly monogamous culture, and Paul's giving Timothy and Titus practical advice based on the mission, which was to convert the Roman world to
Christianity, not plural marriage. Permit or even encourage (where appropriate) plural marriage, of course, because that's a consequence of God's design for marriage, but don't hit the surrounding culture over the head with it or it will distract you from the mission.
I reserve the right to come back to this—I just have some free time while I'm waiting for the water well guy to get here and am giving an unfiltered response to rockfox's provocation.
But I have been living this stuff for 20 years, and somehow never put 2 and 2 together and made 4. Rockfox, it's like you just threw a light switch or something.
The argument that plural men are too busy or too focused on pleasing their wives to help oversee the fellowship is bogus, a red herring, and one of those last pockets of resistance where we have bought into the cultural model of marriage without realizing it. "Many hands make light work", and a properly organized biblical family will actually
empower the man to be of
more service to the church, while a "happy wife, happy life" family will suck the life out of him.
What's that thing in Proverbs 31 about the man sitting in the gates with the elders? Oh yeah, verse 23: "Her husband is known in the gates, where he sits among the elders of the land." If that's true with one "virtuous woman', why wouldn't it also be true with two or three? She's busting her rump running everything, he's hanging out with the other
elders making important decisions. What am I missing?
So I'm done with the "too busy" argument (thanks, rockfox! - can't believe I never made this connection), and I'd say we have to either deal with the possibility that the argument for
one is an argument from wisdom (operating within a mono culture) or simply arbitrary (it's a mystery, He's God, He can do what He wants), or take a longer look at
first or
a for the translation.
