Hmmmm..... maybe famous but just not many know it yet.
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Giving your daughter in marriage...
- Thread starter IshChayil
- Start date
Don’t ruin this moment for meHmmmm..... maybe famous but just not many know it yet.
So I'm wondering if he would have any issue with his daughters marrying a married man.
I am not raising my sons to get married early, because I want them settled in their careers, but if I had a daughter, I would encourage her to marry early, but to a man who is established, as I probably wouldn't care how much older he is than she, as long as he could provide for her. Now, if she is intent on marrying someone her age, or someone who is not financially set, I would insist she get a degree or trade skill in something that will enable her to help him out financially. Of course if he were to already have a wife that has a professional career, she could be the stay-at-home mom, so that would be an option she could pursue.
I have it on good authority that he would not mind in the least
While it is good for a woman to marry an older man, that advise to men is counterproductive. When they are young is when they'll have the best access to the most women and best quality women. There is no benefit to waiting. A man having money doesn't make for a better marriage. Degree's only add debt and are no longer a sure path to high income; often a loosing bargain.
As for women...her debt will hamper their family long after the degree does her any good. Not to mention the damage college will do to her. And the income will only increase their chance of divorce.
Christians need to stop viewing a lack of money as some sort of moral failing or impediment to having a family and stop conflating upper middle class values with Christianity.
Lack of money isn't the problem, but indeed, debt is. I was able to get my undergrad with very little debt, which I paid off right away.
My Master's Degree didn't come so easily though. I already had a ton of debt when I started on it, though, and I used some of the student loan money I got, to pay off the high interest credit cards, I and my wife had already racked up. There is no way I could have gotten to where I am today though, without that Master's Degree, and I worked a full-time job while working on that, so that involved some all-nighters, but the credit card debt took precedence over student loans.
I am encouraging my older son to work his way through school, when he does decide to go on to higher ed, which he intends to take a year off after high school graduation, and I am fully behind him in this decision, to my wife's chagrin. As far as my sons finding a woman who they can marry, when they get older and more well -established, again, as long as the woman is an adult, I am not going to care what the age difference is between them. That may limit the pool to women of good moral character who are close in age, but have failed miserably in their relationships, or women who themselves don't really care how much older their husband is than they are, which I am OK with.
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While men of all ages prefer young women, and men of their early to mid 30's are at their most attractive and financially sound, women tend to prefer men 1-5 years older than them. Which means an established man in his 30's with all the accouterments of middle class success is aging out of access to late teens/early 20's women of peak fertility and minimum damage. Not that he can't attract them; but he'll have the least access to them of his life and be outside their ideal on average.
A poor family learns to lean on each other and value people over things. That builds strong marriages and families. At least so long as the wife is not raised to be a materialist but to value family and God. Kids are cheap to raise; the need for high income college jobs comes from trying to keep up with upper middle class expectations of material wealth living.
With the rapidly inflating cost of college, working through school is incredibly difficult. But if you're going to do college, that's the only good way. Make sure to do a lot of investigation about the industry you want to work in and don't believe the colleges. They just want your money. I've talked with many people who ended up with worthless degrees or degrees for jobs where employers refuse to hire anyone not diverse or degrees where there is a very high turnover in industry and it will be useful for a couple of years.
And if a woman wants to have children....skip the degree till they're grown. Careers and child-rearing don't mix well and if you quit to raise them the degree will be worthless by the time you re-enter the workforce (if it ever had any value to begin with).
There is still quite a large pool. My wife is 6 years younger than I am. Two of my four sisters married men ten years their senior. Ultimately, people have to realize that age difference is really a non-issue. Character is far more important, and I am raising my two boys to have strong character.
Some poor families learn to rely on the gubmint. I want my children to avoid that.
My older son has already figured out what he wants to do with his life, and if college is necessary to achieve that, he will do what he has to do.
This is true, IF she desires monogamy, but if she can accept polygamy, she can help her husband find a wife willing to stay home with the children, if she has aspirations to have a career.
The stats totally don’t matter.
All a man needs is one or two on the right side of the Bell Curve.
Don’t leave out the leading of Yah. In His will, the right one is always found when both are ready.
People spend too much time looking and not enough time preparing.
There is no such thing as being too prepared. Those that think that they already are usually find that they are mistaken.
All a man needs is one or two on the right side of the Bell Curve.
Don’t leave out the leading of Yah. In His will, the right one is always found when both are ready.
People spend too much time looking and not enough time preparing.
There is no such thing as being too prepared. Those that think that they already are usually find that they are mistaken.
Now if we had a thread where users could reveal their YouTube handles, that might be useful.
Yeah! If I had read the post about seven daughters more carefully, instead of just skimming past it,....I guess I got more important things to do.
Oh! I thought about raising cattle a couple years ago, ....for investment purposes, that is. I found it somewhat amusing that one of the church violinists, LOVES cows. I told her that we have a cow pasture behind our apartment complex, and she went crazy!
Stats do matter if you're looking for a needle in a hay stack.
So if someone hasn't found one yet they're just not ready?
I would have to answer a gender neutral question like this, in a gender specific way. The men I know who aren't married, are probably not ready. The women I know, are ready and have been ready for some time.
Are they ready to enter a genuinely biblical family? Just wondering as there are a few represented here in BF.
I think you're right that the stats do matter.
I see at it as examining the stats so as to go fishing in the right body of water with the right bait for the kind of fish that one is after, and then realizing that even so, the odds are not in one's favor. Then, hope in God, who according to His good pleasure, puts the fish on the hook... or does not.
No! Unfortunately, they have been deceived. I do what I can to help them see the truth, but I only get few opportunities to do so.