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Giving your daughter in marriage...

SerenaJoy82 said:
I would argue that both men and women should have some marketable skill by learning a trade if they do not attend college. Ideally, an apprenticeship would be the best route, but vocational/technical school may be needed for some occupations. We need to teach our daughters just as much as our sons.
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For young women, who are content to live in a polygamous household, motherhood may be a viable option. SOMEBODY has to stay at home and raise those children! If they decide they want monogamy, I would have to agree with @rockfox that a career is not really necessary either. I am not a fan of the Stay-At-Home dad, though!
 
rockfox said:
If you don't have a job / can't hold down a job; then it would arguably be irresponsible to get married. But people support families with just high school diplomas all the time. There is nothing irresponsible about getting married and having kids without going to college. You've turned getting a college degree into a moral issue. This is the same old churchian way of turning upper middle class values into religious ones. But it's not true and hopelessly out of touch with the modern economy.
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It really depends on the choice of career one takes. For me, getting a job in a Software Engineering field, without a degree in EE or Computer Science, is almost unheard of.
 
Daniel DeLuca said:
For young women, who are content to live in a polygamous household, motherhood may be a viable option. SOMEBODY has to stay at home and raise those children! If they decide they want monogamy, I would have to agree with @rockfox that a career is not really necessary either. I am not a fan of the Stay-At-Home dad, though!
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I am not speaking of having a career per se. I am speaking of having something to fall back on. We live in a fallen world tainted by sin, husbands die, they can become disabled, or they abandon their family. Women need to have a marketable skill in order to support themselves and their children should these circumstances arise. Yes, ideally they should remarry if possible, but with the shortage of believing men, that may not always be possible, even with plural marriage.
 
And even if a woman is going to be a homemaker, she ideally should have some higher education. If we are to homeschool our children properly, we must be educated ourselves. I do not think this requires a degree, but if one can earn one without going into debt it can be a blessing. There are also many free courses offered through an open classroom environment on the internet that can be beneficial.
 
SerenaJoy82 said:
I am not speaking of having a career per se. I am speaking of having something to fall back on. We live in a fallen world tainted by sin, husbands die, they can become disabled, or they abandon their family. Women need to have a marketable skill in order to support themselves and their children should these circumstances arise. Yes, ideally they should remarry if possible, but with the shortage of believing men, that may not always be possible, even with plural marriage.
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There is no shortage of believing men, here at Biblical Families! :)
 
SerenaJoy82 said:
And even if a woman is going to be a homemaker, she ideally should have some higher education. If we are to homeschool our children properly, we must be educated ourselves. I do not think this requires a degree, but if one can earn one without going into debt it can be a blessing. There are also many free courses offered through an open classroom environment on the internet that can be beneficial.
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I like free stuff!
 
Daniel DeLuca said:
I am not arguing that you need a college degree to be set financially. You are in the situation I want my sons to be in when they marry.
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Do you know what comes before that 6 figure small business? A decade of living hand to mouth and working your ass off.

Daniel DeLuca said:
woman of noble character, isn't chasing a man simply because she thinks he is sexy.
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A woman of noble character is still a woman and her created biology means she won't chase any man she doesn't find arousing. A college degree and a steady paycheck aren't arousing. And if she overcomes that to chase a Godly man he is looking at a lifetime of passionless sex if not outright dead bedroom.

SerenaJoy82 said:
And even if a woman is going to be a homemaker, she ideally should have some higher education. If we are to homeschool our children properly, we must be educated ourselves
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Which is why she shouldn't drop out of high school to get married.

SerenaJoy82 said:
I am not speaking of having a career per se. I am speaking of having something to fall back on. We live in a fallen world tainted by sin, husbands die, they can become disabled, or they abandon their family. Women need to have a marketable skill in order to support themselves and their children should these circumstances arise.
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It's called a work ethic. That's the only marketable skill you need to get a job or start a business and support your family. It is shocking how few people have it and how hard it is for employers to find.

Daniel DeLuca said:
It really depends on the choice of career one takes. For me, getting a job in a Software Engineering field, without a degree in EE or Computer Science, is almost unheard of.
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It didn't use to be. It is only fairly recently that all programmers had those degrees. You don't need a degree to be a coder or even design hardware. That's just a common way to get the knowledge. But I would not recommend anyone go into that field anyway. Very little room for advancement, a high likelihood you'll be replaced by an H1B visa holder (or fresh meat out of college), and an industry infected by SJWs.
 
rockfox said:
Do you know what comes before that 6 figure small business? A decade of living hand to mouth and working your ass off.
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It took me six years of hand to mouth and working my a** of to get that undergrad degree, and I didn't have to worry about providing for the wife or kid(s). It took another 3 years of working my a** off to get the MS degree, and I would not have had to deal with that, if it hadn't been for the dot-com bubble bust, but after three years of jobs that went nowhere, and mounting debt, and inability to make ends meet, I realized this was the route that I needed to go. If I had done that sooner, I would have had a much better financial situation. Doing so, with a wife and child in tow, is not something I would recommend, if that can be avoided. We only have two children. I really wanted to have more.

rockfox said:
A woman of noble character is still a woman and her created biology means she won't chase any man she doesn't find arousing. A college degree and a steady paycheck aren't arousing. And if she overcomes that to chase a Godly man he is looking at a lifetime of passionless sex if not outright dead bedroom.
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You would have to know my baby sister, to know that she chose a man whom she didn't feel chemistry with, over one whom she did, who couldn't hold down a job, to realize that those feelings can change. Some men lose their sex appeal sooner than others, but my boys have good genetics.

rockfox said:
It didn't use to be. It is only fairly recently that all programmers had those degrees. You don't need a degree to be a coder or even design hardware. That's just a common way to get the knowledge. But I would not recommend anyone go into that field anyway. Very little room for advancement, a high likelihood you'll be replaced by an H1B visa holder (or fresh meat out of college), and an industry infected by SJWs.
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There is plenty of room for advancement, but not if I spend too much time here on BF debating this. You have to enjoy using your intellectual capabilities, in order to justify going into a STEM field. If grunt work is not something you enjoy, go for it. It's true you can get replaced in just about any job. Ask anyone who has worked in home construction, how easy it is to get replaced by a migrant worker. The key is to replace the employer that replaced you. When the housing market burst, a lot of people in the financial sector got replaced, and it took a while for those jobs to come back. I ended up working for less, because we got laid off and they closed the facility, as a lot of our customers were in the banking industry. I went back to a job I had worked at while working on my MS degree, and it all worked out!
 
SerenaJoy82 said:
Not on this site, but certainly in the world. All of the men here cannot afford the entire world population of single Christian ladies. :) And not all Christian ladies want to be in a plural marriage and I can respect that.
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Well we can only control what goes on here. The recommendation to stay at home and raise children, does not apply to women outside BF, who don't desire polygamy. That would include my wife as well, at least for the time being. I have tried to show her the benefits, but that's how it goes!
 
Daniel DeLuca said:
The recommendation to stay at home and raise children, does not apply to women outside BF, who don't desire polygamy. ]

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We are all called to be keepers at home. However, there is a need to have women working in occupations within the scope of our created nature and roles, for the sake of modesty and propriety. Medicine is one field that we need women, especially as OB/GYNs and GPs
 
SerenaJoy82 said:
I would argue that both men and women should have some marketable skill by learning a trade if they do not attend college. Ideally, an apprenticeship would be the best route, but vocational/technical school may be needed for some occupations. We need to teach our daughters just as much as our sons.
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Why?
 
SerenaJoy82 said:
I am not speaking of having a career per se. I am speaking of having something to fall back on. We live in a fallen world tainted by sin, husbands die, they can become disabled, or they abandon their family. Women need to have a marketable skill in order to support themselves and their children should these circumstances arise. Yes, ideally they should remarry if possible, but with the shortage of believing men, that may not always be possible, even with plural marriage.
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I have life and disability insurance. I would accept my daughters back if something were to happen to their husband. I would expect their brothers to support them if something were to happen me and my life insurance policy. Women having to rely on skills that she has to bring to market seems like a lack of faith in God and family.

I would never want my wife or daughters answering to another man in employment. I would only want my wife and daughters answering to their husbands.

Not that my daughters have never had a job before, but they have never had to have one. Sometimes they just want to work just to do something.

One of my daughters has her own business that she operates from home.

Now some women may not have family to rely upon, but that is a different problem.

Not dinging women that have to work to survive. Everyone does what they have to do to make ends meet/survive, but in my opinion if a woman has to do this something broke down. Like if you had to put your kids to work to make ends meet.
 
SerenaJoy82 said:
I am not speaking of having a career per se. I am speaking of having something to fall back on. We live in a fallen world tainted by sin, husbands die, they can become disabled, or they abandon their family. Women need to have a marketable skill in order to support themselves and their children should these circumstances arise. Yes, ideally they should remarry if possible, but with the shortage of believing men, that may not always be possible, even with plural marriage.
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Another option is, or ought to be, to go back to their Father's house. If my daughters were abandoned I would expect them to come back home.
 
SerenaJoy82 said:
We are all called to be keepers at home. However, there is a need to have women working in occupations within the scope of our created nature and roles, for the sake of modesty and propriety. Medicine is one field that we need women, especially as OB/GYNs and GPs
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Historically speaking this is a very modern view. 100 years ago there were almost no jobs available for women, and society moved along fine.

There are male OB/GYN and GPs. There is no reason a full service hospital could not be staffed with 100% males.
 
cnystrom said:
Historically speaking this is a very modern view. 100 years ago there were almost no jobs available for women, and society moved along fine.

There are male OB/GYN and GPs. There is no reason a full-service hospital could not be staffed with 100% males.
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As a modest woman, I do not want strange men examining me, especially in the area of OB/GYN. Not all women are called to marriage and the medical field can be a vocation for single women to serve the Lord and their neighbours. For most of history, men were banned from the birthing room, there were midwives who delivered the babies. It has only been in the last 200-300 years that men have usurped, what was traditionally a female role, ie caring for women during pregnancy, delivery and post partem, as well as providing what is now called well-woman care. My husband does not want me seeing a male doctor unless it cannot be helped for the sake of modesty and proprietary.
 
cnystrom said:
Why?
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Because maybe a first or second wife with skillsets like nursing, accounting, business management, journalism, tailoring, etc would be beneficial additions to a family business or community venture? Just spitballing here....
 
And, another thought... Isaiah 4:1... the ladies baked their own bread. They had some skill... Just saying.
 
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