Sure, whatever you say, man
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What do you consider modesty on a woman? What makes a woman appear NOT modest?
- Thread starter Mrs.HisPossession
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- makeup modesty womens clothing
I see so many valid points on here. Since increasing my modesty walk, I also see that its important to also keep things pretty for your husband at the same time. Since women are created for our husbands I realize part of that it also being beautiful to them. So in public I have to come across as unavailable but still look decent in that to not give my husband, 'buyers remorse ' as one poster said. But then at home remember woman is the glory of the man so my husband wants to see his glory.
So even though that meme of the women in bathing suits is hard to see, it's true that at home, theres no reason to not be that way with our husband. If those 2 women were dressed like that at home in the privacy with their husband, or say, a private beach as another example, would that be so bad?
So even though that meme of the women in bathing suits is hard to see, it's true that at home, theres no reason to not be that way with our husband. If those 2 women were dressed like that at home in the privacy with their husband, or say, a private beach as another example, would that be so bad?
As much as I like this, so few Christians put any thought or effort into modest dress, I'm not sure how practical this advice will be.
I have a dress I will only wear at home, for hubby's eyes only. It is very modestly cut. High neckline. Long skirt. Pink.....LACE! lol
Sure like that dress!
It has worked pretty well so far. It is possible to raise our sons not to be raging hormone ruled whoremongers. I have actually taught my son to respect women and not view them as sex objects. It is rare that an almost 17-year-old young man is still a virgin these days. Maybe I am actually doing something right and I know my son much better than anyone. He likes girls and he does go out with them on occasion as long as it is a chaperoned group outing.
One of the biggest mistakes parents can make is just simply not paying attention to what their teenage children are doing.
That is very true. You can dress your daughters in a burka, but you are not paying attention otherwise they can still get into trouble.
The rarity of chastity is indeed sad. My hubby was a virgin when we married, as was I. We have sons 20 and 22 that are, and are not ashamed or embarrassed by their "lack of experience." They know it is smart thing to avoid casual relationships and loose women. They want to marry, not just collect std's and baby mommas.
My hubby once was talking with guys sharing about how many women they had been with. It had a subduing effect when he stated in a matter of fact way he had only ever been with his wife. Lol
Your son should know he is in the best of company!
Its funny how it works that way. Kinda stops the conversation
I am glad that he is remaining chaste. I hope that he will find a virgin to marry and that he will remain one until he marries. I have been " damaged" goods since I was three years old due to sexual abuse and the trauma of that led to a life of promiscuity for most of my young life. Even if I had not taken the path that I did, I still would have been labelled as damaged goods by many people, because of the abuse. However, if he marries a repentant harlot who loves the Lord over a virgin who is a blasphemer than he will still have chosen well.
Well said!
I am sorry you were abused. There are a lot of hurting people in the world who have been mistreated. I hate the term damaged goods, and the sort of judgement passed by those who have not faced those kinds of challenges.
I believe perfect love casts out fear and pray that His love directly and through those of faith heals the broken.
It is very much part of the culture that objectifies women and the church is not exempt. (I am not excusing sexual immorality) When I became a believer and after I had separated from my first husband, I was told by a lady in my former assembly that no Christian man would want me, because of my past. There is a huge double standard when it comes to quality, while fornication is preached against. It is usually swept under the rug if men do it, while women are cast as harlots unworthy of redemption and ruined for life.
I wrote the original question so would also like to give an update to my original post.
Since posting this, my husband decided I should cover my head in public; in spite of his feelings that when he sees women with scarves on their heads, he doesn't associate it with modesty (most times) but as a fashion statement.
However, he recognizes that for our belief, it is a symbol of my submission to the headship order- not only to myself but also to the angels. Also I am able to pray more at any given time, which is a great thing. At home I can take the cover off and turn the modesty (in dress) off to be his glory, however, when I pray, listen to scripture, watch sermons, or fellowship, I cover. In that case, I end up being covered a lot at home because I talk to the Father randomly throughout the day in quick prayers.
To women thinking off adding headcovering partial or full time to your modesty walk, I can tell you that for me it really helped in the submission area as a constant reminder that my husband is my head. It also increased my shamefacedness towards him. In public, it helped me to watch my demenor more. Also, when encountering situations where you spare of the moment want to pray, it is great to be able to pray anywhere at anytime. I should add that I am truley a keeper at home and it is very very rare for me to be out in public without my husband so my public experiences were mostly with him.
I"m only a few weeks in but so far it has been a blessing.
@Windblowns Youtube page 'The Revolting Woman' was really helpful in being wise counsel and giving me courage to make this change.
Reading the responses on this thread gave so much helpful insight. Thanks again.
Since posting this, my husband decided I should cover my head in public; in spite of his feelings that when he sees women with scarves on their heads, he doesn't associate it with modesty (most times) but as a fashion statement.
However, he recognizes that for our belief, it is a symbol of my submission to the headship order- not only to myself but also to the angels. Also I am able to pray more at any given time, which is a great thing. At home I can take the cover off and turn the modesty (in dress) off to be his glory, however, when I pray, listen to scripture, watch sermons, or fellowship, I cover. In that case, I end up being covered a lot at home because I talk to the Father randomly throughout the day in quick prayers.
To women thinking off adding headcovering partial or full time to your modesty walk, I can tell you that for me it really helped in the submission area as a constant reminder that my husband is my head. It also increased my shamefacedness towards him. In public, it helped me to watch my demenor more. Also, when encountering situations where you spare of the moment want to pray, it is great to be able to pray anywhere at anytime. I should add that I am truley a keeper at home and it is very very rare for me to be out in public without my husband so my public experiences were mostly with him.
I"m only a few weeks in but so far it has been a blessing.
@Windblowns Youtube page 'The Revolting Woman' was really helpful in being wise counsel and giving me courage to make this change.
Reading the responses on this thread gave so much helpful insight. Thanks again.
Thank you and yes it has.
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Hi everyone! I have been gone for a loooooong time! Had some soul searching to do with my husband and I left the internet world for awhile. I have a quick update to this post:
I have changed some of my convictions. With my man, I learned that modesty is totally subject to what the husband wants. The Father did not give us a concrete rule book on what makes a woman appear modest. There are a few scriptures where you can wiggle it in to sound that way, but overall, its a silent issue. So we concluded that modesty is a heart state- a state of mind... not a dress code. I learned that women should only go to their own husbands to decide what modesty is in his household.
Each man sees modesty differently and has different opinions on whether or not a dress should come to your knees, floor, thighs, whatever. If makeup is ok or not, hair styles.... so much to debate! However, the Bible is silent on many of these issues from our understanding. So modesty is subject to a mans household and his views; including how often to cover your head or not.
I learned that my man does not like me to cover my head all the time, likes a little makeup, and wants me to dress classy and modestly in public ( according to his standard of modest) but loves sexy clothing at home. I cover my head now only when I pray or listening to the Bible. But not all the time. This also is not commanded so I'm ok with not wearing it all the time.
I just felt the need to post a FINAL update since my views did change on the issue. Also, I want anyone who reads it later to know what happened after all of that and months later after much study.
Take care all!
I have changed some of my convictions. With my man, I learned that modesty is totally subject to what the husband wants. The Father did not give us a concrete rule book on what makes a woman appear modest. There are a few scriptures where you can wiggle it in to sound that way, but overall, its a silent issue. So we concluded that modesty is a heart state- a state of mind... not a dress code. I learned that women should only go to their own husbands to decide what modesty is in his household.
Each man sees modesty differently and has different opinions on whether or not a dress should come to your knees, floor, thighs, whatever. If makeup is ok or not, hair styles.... so much to debate! However, the Bible is silent on many of these issues from our understanding. So modesty is subject to a mans household and his views; including how often to cover your head or not.
I learned that my man does not like me to cover my head all the time, likes a little makeup, and wants me to dress classy and modestly in public ( according to his standard of modest) but loves sexy clothing at home. I cover my head now only when I pray or listening to the Bible. But not all the time. This also is not commanded so I'm ok with not wearing it all the time.
I just felt the need to post a FINAL update since my views did change on the issue. Also, I want anyone who reads it later to know what happened after all of that and months later after much study.
Take care all!
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Mrs. Starr, thank you for starting this topic! I read through it today and thoroughly enjoyed the discussion and I learned a lot! I find it interesting that your response (above) echoes the response below:
I wanted to read every post in this topic before I responded. And you and Pacman are essentially on the same page with my family.
My husband's first and now ex-wife Shari had insisted on us wearing very modest and very conservative clothing both in and out of the house. It was a little stifling and we ended up looking weird when we went out. It attracted too much attention and in my opinion it wasn't humble because it wasn't offered in humility.
What's ironic is that after the divorce Shari moved away and is now living a very secular lifestyle and modesty is no longer part of her life. Turns out she didn't like living by her rules either!
In the course of reading all of this I realized that our family has three standards of modesty:
1. When the ladies are off the ranch we dress modestly but not like we look weird. Skirts, dresses, blouses, are typical unless it's winter when jeans and warm clothes make a ton more sense. On the ranch but outside of the house we dress for the activity. I like to hike and that means boots, shorts, and a light top. This also means I try to keep myself in shape so I don't scare people when I wear boots, shorts, and a light top!
2. At home when our husband isn't here and there's no one else around we're much more relaxed in the morning and at night. During the day we wear what we want.
3. When Steve is home we're a little more modest during the day than when he isn't home. I hadn't thought about that until I was reading this topic and I realized we're not as relaxed when he's here.
I'll note that our modesty level is changing as the kids are becoming teenagers. Eric is the oldest in the house at 13 and he's starting to notice girls so some of our past activities around the house have had to change.
Steve really does set the standard for what he thinks is acceptable dress and we respect that. It's easy to respect his standard because he's flexible about what we wear at home.
I too almost found myself behaving like your husbands first wife... and that's when my self assessment started. Sometimes, modesty can turn into a spirit of pride and becomes less about actual modesty and more about appearing "holier than thou....". Not a good witness- and its hypocrisy at its finest to me. You look modest on the outside, but don't have a modest, shamefaced, meek, and quiet heart on the inside.
I feel more peace now that I defer to what my husband wants and not aiming to be the most modest woman in the world.
And editing to say, I remember reading pacmans response months ago when discussion first began. I was in a different place then. Now I see he was exactly correct.
I feel more peace now that I defer to what my husband wants and not aiming to be the most modest woman in the world.
And editing to say, I remember reading pacmans response months ago when discussion first began. I was in a different place then. Now I see he was exactly correct.
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Wonderful to hear
I've been thinking about this and had the thought that modesty is not about how you dress but about not attracting undue attention. You can be dressed head to toe in a bag like some religions do and then do things that attract attention. Or you can dress like the FLDS women in their weird dresses and attract attention. Neither of those things are really modesty.
I belong to my husband and for me modesty means that there's a side of me that only he gets to see. That doesn't mean I have to dress like a nun when I go to Wal Mart to prove how religious I am. It also doesn't mean I have to make myself unattractive or plain.
Just on my mind on a late night.