True leadership, in my view, would focus on leading where it matters, not pedantically controlling details just for the sake of control.
This is a big problem when the topic of headship comes up. Christians insist on making distinctions between 'true leadership' (leadership they like) and 'controlling' (leadership they don't like).
Scripture makes no such distinction. The husband is just in control.
The meal ordering thing is a well worn tactic that many many men have successfully utilized. I've personally never done it, but it does work. Well.
And frankly, from a female attraction perspective, pedantically controlling beats nice beta boy every single day of the week. Not saying it's the best way. But it can work. Where it doesn't work is when it is controlling+unattractive or where you fail to calibrate it.
On the other hand, deciding what she'll eat in a restaurant is an artificial addition that exists for no purpose - unless that specific choice has a rational purpose (another example: "you're on a diet dear, and I know you'll regret it if you eat that, so I'm telling you you can't have it because I love you, you're having the salad"). If there's a purpose, do it. If there is no purpose, not even your own gratification (do you enjoy watching your wife eat chicken more than watching her eat beef?), then why are you making that decision?
The diet thing actually comes up a lot. But the usual case for this is in establishing early what kind of man you are. IOW: the dinner date.
Other places it works well:
1. Special dates (anniversary, Valentine's)
2. Adding some excitement by ordering something for her she never would but you know she'll love
3. Which is related to 2, by ordering something for her (and she loving it) you demonstrate your taste and mastery of her wetware.
4. As a way to spice up 'date night's'. The usual way of these frequently fails to produce results.
But for most Christian men, esp. judging by the aghast reactions, you should start with something a little easier.
IMO meal control should not be something exercised to establish the sub/dom relationship, but rather something exercised to enjoy the sub/dom relationship. Not to put too fine a point on it, but this means the dom/sub dynamic already exists.
The use of this tactic as I've heard it used was well outside a BDSM situation. And it is often used as part of a campaign to establish control. But it does depend where you are in this. The average Christian man still has his balls locked in her purse and may need to start with something easier. Namely: deciding where you're going to eat without asking her or when she says "I don't know where do you want to eat?" That's her giving you a chance to take control.
